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there was once, i wrote a poem about my mom. it wasnt a pretty one i must say. the whole poem emcompasses everything, every feeling i had towards her. unfortunately, it was erased accidentally. she holds the smallest grudge towards everyone, backing to what seemed like donkey years ago. she's never one you can confide to because of the pride she has. she thinks that she's the best in everything or even perfect. she portrays a character without any stains. the description above only happens when she's emotional. she'll spare no feelings, she'll sneer at every word you say and reply back in a sarcastic tone. her arms are folded through out with her eyes wide open. at some times, i'll find that gesture really inhuman. how can she hurt someone so badly and yet remain looking so calm and superior? she interjects at every thing you say in her defense, leaving you no chance of completing it. how can she get what i'm trying to say when it's not finished? this is the first time i'm writing publicly about my mother. however, emotions aside, she's a nice lady. sometimes i wonder if she has split personality. i know very much that her bad childhood shaped her into what she is at present but why cant she get past it? i'm fortunate enough to have 3 siblings to go thru this shit with me. we discuss what we feel together and this helps me to get over the hurtful things she says. we stand up for one another coz we know that none of us should go thru it alone. this whole episode started because my mom was being super unreasonable with my younger brother. she's expecting him to read everyday, continuously. i know this is possible with some people. but with my bro, it's ridiculous. the book she's forcing him to read right now, "rich dad, poor dad". like how appropriate is that for him? so, expectedly, my bro didnt keep up with this reading regime and got into lots of shit. my sister joined the argument in his defense and then i came in. slowly, it diverted to another subject...that includes us. how irritating. in her final words that i could tolerate, she blurted out "frankly, i didnt want you to go back to s'pore". like wth? i knew she wasnt happy all along. good for her. naomi at 9:09 PM |
about me: naomi suen ♥ born and raised in sg relocated to nz in 2006 final year in UOA! studying psych and employment relations & org studies working part time as a CSR in vodafone
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